Log in

No account? Create an account
03 March 2005 @ 04:33 pm
uhh... so there are just too many people on here who are just too sweet.... AND...

how many of us were out at Chaos last night for the ass shakin' and the drag kingin'? i count quite a few of us. :)

led to a good conversation about monogamy and polyamory on the ride home. verdict: "i haven't tried to be in a primary relationship since i met all of my fabulous polyamorous family, but that's what i'd like to shoot for if the occassion ever arises." :)

hmmm... oh, yeah, a few more things:

1. omigod.omigod.omigod. how fucking hot was Chaos last night?! i mean, like whoa. i went home feeling like very, very happy boy-meat. i can count nine folks that i danced with last night that i entertained extremely sexual, very, very, very hot thoughts about in the hours preceding sleep this morning. i also can count three separate sets of bitemarks and one bruise on my bicep AND a very distressed belt buckle from all of the dancing and carousing.

2. and, really, most importantly... thank all of you who posted sweet and supportive comments to my last journal... again, much love to all of you. i can't even tell you how important each of you have been in my life journey... its funny, some of you i've known for only 6 months or so and y'all mean a whole lot to me.

3. dillon. that's it. and spelled that way. it's welsh. my friend, bronwin, who also (obviously) has a welsh name was so cute at coffee before chaos last night -- she pretty much jumped across the table when i told her how my name and how i spelled it. AND she got the dylan thomas thing, without me saying a word about it. (well, appropriate: dillon thomas)

next posts: coming out as trans to my sponsor and hysterical outtakes from class today.
03 March 2005 @ 04:44 pm
i'm meeting with my sponsor to talk about trans stuff tonight. i love him so much... when we talked today

he said: "so, how are you doing?"
i said: "welll.... i'm ok. well, no i'm not. well, i am. i'm doing better. but..."
he said: "well, i'm calling to see if we can get together and maybe make that load your carrying a little lighter."
i said: "yeah, i need to lighten it. its funny, it's all stuff i picked up - no one's making ME carry it."
he said: "yeah, but that's what we do. and that's why we get together and talk about it. so, let's get together tonight and make your load lighter, ok?"

i'm scared because talking with him is going to be so easy - he's gonna get it and then he's gonna know and i'm gonna have to work on it. AND he can give relevant, useful advice and love and acceptance... slowly peeling away the layers of the "closet walls"... closer to the center where my parents stand. fear. fear. fear. fear.

love. love. love. love. if i stay present in the moment and remember that Eileen's got all under control...

musical excerpt that randomly popped in my head, making me think of last night:
"there's no religion but sex and music." -- Sting from "Send Your Love"

(as a side note, i gotta say that i feel excellent. i've been working out doing some type of cardio every day for over a week now and i'm starting to see the change in my body very clearly.... felt good to dance and demonstrate my *ahem* flexibility last night)
Current Mood: well worked out
03 March 2005 @ 04:52 pm
"Jefferson in 1786 really wanted someone to send him a moose."

"I almost forgot my mastodon..."

"America is just one big vagina and the Europeans are the little sperm running around..."

"Lewis and Clark were desperately searching for a mastodon."

this was in sex and sexuality in american history class.
and, yes, all of these sentences were actually relevant in context.


as for the poem:

"Letter to Booker T."

I can feel your struggle
as a people without a place
a body that eludes ownership
by Self
I feel your confusion
at the theft of your body
and the shock of the realization
that your body was never
I carry the fallen
trampeled banner
of your search for autonomy
I am the heir to your legacy of
endless struggle against
a public classification
read from my skin.