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boiswillbebois
18 January 2005 @ 12:41 am
grocery shopping. that is what I did after work. what I did at work was help other people grocery shop.

anyway.

I start back to school a week from today (Monday). I'm kinda nervous about it, because I don't know where all of the time is going to come from. I mean, I know I'll be working fewer hours, so I'll have less time at work than I do now, but still -- I'm not sure how I'm going to manage. I'm sure I will - I always do. I'm looking foward to school.

This is what it is: Energy-wise I am spread and bent and pulled in so many directions right now, I'm fear-filled that school is going to pull me away from the other places that are already pulling me from each other. Realistically, none of these groups are mutually exclusive. I can combine them, most of them anyway, at nearly any time. Yet, each requires a different aspect of ME and sometimes it is dizzying to try and do what I think is "good enough" for each "direction".

Some of these directions are:
- recovery family (Meg, Otchy, the bazillion other folks I keep saying I need to hang out w/)
- meetings, themselves
- bio family
- Leather family (meaning, my boys)
- my Sponsor
- my Sir
- Leather community, at large.
- work
- school, the place/classes/general energy/logistics
- schoolwork, the intellectual aspect
- customer service/PR/perma-grin
- my own Eileen/Ebert time
- my own writing/drawing/collage/music time.
- physical activity/working out/KARATE

yikes. that's the first time I ever really wrote out all those forces/directions that I feel compelled to "perform" in, in some capacity. no wonder I'm a little exhausted and I've taught myself how to remain in perpetual motion.
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Current Mood: i don't know. my feet hurt. :)
Current Music: anyone remember the song, "I Can't Get You Outta My Head"?
 
 
boiswillbebois
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Ley.
2. Jr. Mint.
3. boy

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. ffxboi
2. boiswillbebois
3. rspberyswirl

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Gender fuck.
2. My mind.
3. Sense of humor.

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My lower body when I'm not at the dojo everyday.
2. As Sir said today, my "self-esteem doesn't match what I'm worth."
3. How judgmental I can be sometimes as a defense mechanism.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Failure
2. Anger.
3. The next four years with Dubya


THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Oatmeal/RiceMilk/Raisins
2. Coffee
3. Music

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Whole Foods beanie
2. old jeans cuffed w/ Docs
3. black tie-dyed rugby socks

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. Grateful Dead (of course)
2. Led Zeppelin
3. The Clash

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. I want to consider working for the Foreign Service. I want to consider my options post-undergrad.
2. I want to move out (again)
3. I want to travel to western NC and let go of some heavy things

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Humor and wit.
2. Compassionate honesty.
3. Comfortable silence (stole this from my newest epiceneone - i think i misspelled that)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (guess which is which)
1. My first drag experience was as Baby Jesus as an infant.
2. I know how to play the fife.
3. I am an exhibitionist.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Ass. I'm an ass boy.
3. Their mind. If someone's sharp, their sexiness factor goes up dramatically.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Believe that I'm still answering this shit.
2. I cannot stand static electricity causing clothes to cling to my body. I hate it.
3. *sigh* There's one that's really easy to put here. It's sad, but there's a certain group of human beings that, no matter how good my intentions, I always manage to enrage. So, I cannot interact w/ these women without pissing them off.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading.
2. Hitting things (drums, people, punching bags)
3. Writing.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Piss. Sorry, it's true, though.
2. Go to sleep. (and cuddle w/ Sir, Max, Spike, Hughie and Megan all at once)
3. Travel. Road trip anyone?

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Home to western North Carolina.
2. San Fran
3. Impossible to pick just one to fill this last spot. Russia, Iceland, Guatemala, Tibet, Japan, Poland (duh), Ireland, Germany (again), Italy, and on and on and on.

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Dakota.
2. Aiden.
3. Skye.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Talk to Pamela Kay again. Honestly.
2. Live in some sort of communal setting.
3. See as much live music as possible, preferably outdoors, and dance my ass off.

THREE PEOPLE WHO WILL POST THEIR OWN ANSWERS TO THIS QUIZ:
hell, i dunno. maybe my Sir will as a joke or something.

that's it. good night. finally.