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02 January 2005 @ 05:00 am
I'm sorry guys, but I'm for real ready to just move to Ari-fucking-zona or something. I have had such a day of ups and downs.

Great New Years' Eve. Great day doing work w/ the boys.

Backed into buddy's car on the way out. :(

Great meeting. Coffee w/ Dre at Soho. Eastern European Man shows up. Talk with him. Flirt with him ceaselessly. Very cute. Yum. Definitely connected. Yay. Right? Not quite. Walk to my car, floating on clouds. Notice about the time I get on 66 that my car was broken into. Don't see anything taken at first. Still have my cash from working. Still have all the CD's in my visor thingie. Check the console. They took three new CD cases (that didn't have the CDs in them) and one new CD. One that I got for Christmas from my buddy. :( Get the sneaking need to check in my trunk. Can't check the trunk until I get to Fairfax on 123. Check trunk. Blue "boy slut bag" is gone. Scarf for bigger boy is disheveled. Cute striped hat, gone. Assorted clothing items, gone. Philosophy books still there, though. *sarcastic laugh* I'm in the process now of figuring out what was in the duffel bag. Oh, they managed also to take my phone charger, ice scraper and change for the toll road. And my new boy safer sex bag, that I also got for Christmas.

Wondering what was in my duffel bag that was important. With my luck tonight, probably something priceless.

I guess this is the other shoe.

Oh, fuck. I just realized some irreplaceable stuff that was in that bag. Jeezus... *sigh* Well, if I still have buddies after this one, I'll know that these new friends are true blue friends that will stick with me through anything. We'll see if I still have buddies after all this is over. I'm sorry to sound so melodramatic, but this is ridiculous.

And I was so tickled about the stuff with Mark.

Can't a boy catch a break?!

\jr. mint.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
02 January 2005 @ 05:08 am
fighting the urge to work on a huge geographical cure. not to move anywhere, but just to disappear.

this sounds so stupid, but I can't do anything about one item that was stolen and its irreplaceable and it was lent to me in good faith and i know i can't do anything about my car having been broken into, but its like the whole world just shat on me tonight in some ways and in other ways like Eileen and Ebert hooked me up big time... i just want to run screaming and crying like a baby. i'm so fearful of the response and the possiblity of anger from my new friends.

you know when you're so upset that you are basically just stunned and can't actually cry? yeah, that's me.

*feeling a little overmelodramatic but who knows how people will respond*

i'm pretty sure that i've lost some new buddies tonight.

02 January 2005 @ 09:48 pm
first of all, i wanted to say thank you for all the boys who rallied behind me to let me know that all is well that ends well and that i've got buddies no matter what. i'm sure when i process all of this and see all of you again, my brain will have to sweat through my eyes a little bit.

you are all incredible. i can't believe how each of you has reached out to me today in my meltdown stage. i, a writer by birthright, am failing to find any words that say "thank you"... all i can say is, "thank you" and let you know that i won't forget your kindness and look forward to being able to return that support and kindness... *teary grin* and of course i'll pay it forward.

much love to you all,

jr. mint.
Current Mood: lovedmuch love. *grin*
02 January 2005 @ 10:12 pm
I need to eventually write about the amazing connectedness with Mark. I'm gonna journal on it tonight, ya know, old fashioned journal on paper, and then post something.

It was incredible to realize that he actually remembered more from our meeting over a year ago than I had...

There is a good account of the night posted by a boy buddy that was there w/ me for most of it... this will have to suffice until I can think some more...

A few quick conversational outtakes:

D: "So, what makes you a Top right now?"
Me: *laughing* "Not much!"

*me walking by his chair, flagging red/Left*
Mark: "You have a red hanky."
Me: "Yes."
Mark: "It's on the wrong side."
Me: "Oh, no its not. I know what side I have it on."
*and then I cast a directed look in the direction of the only orfice a bio-man has for penetration, grin evily and raise an eyebrow... *hehe**

*me kneeling by his chair toward the end of the evening*
Mark: "You're not in a very Toppy position right now."
Me: *casting Toppy energy filled semi-glare* "No, I'm not."

Favorite looks of the night:
-the one when he's being all squishy - that sub look of admiration/affection
-the little lightning flash when he was pulling my short hairs being a sadistic fuck - the same grin when his buddy was talking about him being a boy and he said, "No, I'm not much of a boy" then his buddy said, "A Sir?" and I said, grinning and shaking my head, "You're not a Sir." and he narrows his eyes (yet manages to keep them "smiling"), gently rubs the side of my face, then slaps me w/ the back of his hand. Then he said, "No?"

:) Short outtakes. It was great. And cool to know how much he remembers of our various meetings throughout the past year. :)

This is an interesting dynamic. At the end of the night he said, "I'll see you soon?" with an emphasis on the SOON and I said, "yeah, real soon." and grinned.

Hugging goodbye I said, "Have a good night"
He said, "Already had one."
Then I said, "Well, have a good New Year"
And he said, "I already have."

Blurring lines of gender and sexaulity and labels (oh my!) --- sorry, fatigue-induced Wizard of Oz moment.

G'night, all.

\jr. mint.

(Hey, thanks again, boys for being fucking fabulous... and to the girls, too, who have been really sweet...)
Current Mood: tiredsleepy time...
Current Music: Janis Joplin 3-CD set from Christmas...