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15 May 2010 @ 06:48 pm
+ dress up party!
+ ani renaissance including out loud sing-a-longs in public
+ driving home alone on the highway listening to loud loud music

+ morning dates and walks to bloomingfoods
+ almondy oolong tea with breakfast
+ new tofu scrambler: tofu noodles, bok choy, broccoli, thai peppers, sweet peppers, onion, carrot & sesame oil
+ apple & walnut muffins made with homemade applesauce
+ smoke detector freak out cos of said applesauce
+ market strawberries!
+ riedell's insistent friendliness
+ sincere talk about deconstructing recovery & also highschool activism
+ hot and fun texting
+ new disc from netflix
+ leftover breakfast food snacks all day
+ bfoods check out line with cutie pie
+ realizing how some people withhold info for their very own interests
+ spontaneous food drop off from a buddy! (including homemade soup, seaweed and tofu salad, and lots of other delicious organic veggies)
+ a friendzine from buddy, laura! and i'm featured! comic dillon!

+ pants off dance party!
+ who the hell knows?!!!!!
08 May 2010 @ 09:12 am
hey doods,

guess what? i'm ABD. that stands for All But Dissertation. for you non-academicky folks out there, that is the academic life-stage equivalent of turning 18. no one's student anymore. a ph.d candidate. it means that my job is to research and write the best goddamn dissertation ever. it means that there is much less oversight from my committee now.

and i got lucky, cos i got some seriously good support for research and so i'm moving to guate in mid-june until may, at least.

yay! scary! yay!
29 December 2009 @ 01:57 am
c. held the last 24 in his small powerful hands (and also my rat tail).
m. is shooting up again and dying.
j. came back from japan to visit. he's happy and a new dad!
r. just had hudson 13 days ago.
h. is new to this place and mostly wants to sleep.
a. seems both more and less than 17. she's gonna make it.
c. lives in denver now and looks amazing, although she always did.
27 December 2009 @ 11:27 pm
feeling a bit self-congratulatory at the moment. here's why:

+ generally great family time this holiday
+ pretty damn good holiday schwag from family
+ pretty okay holiday gifts for family
+ baked vegan zucchini bread for mom - each time i walk into the kitchen the mini-loaves are shrinking
+ went for a run last night at a very posh local gym and felt better immediately
+ serious sales victory today at the *gulp* yuppie mall - 104 dollars worth of denim for 31 with tax, 40 dollars of lush stuff for 19 dollars
+ delicious veg food at sunflower
+ hella good radio stations singing my drive around suburbia!
+ a really fabulous 4.5 hour coffee date with a solid pal (with some very brief parking lot wrestling)
+ tentative spring break plans in san francisco?! yeah!
+ exciting plans for the rest of my time here on the east coast, although i won't get to philly or brooklyn this time and this is a major bummer
+ editors of a volume (now series) in transnational feminisms accepted my essay (this was submitted many months ago and i had forgotten about it until tonight when i got the acceptance email)!!! deadline: mid-february, just in time for qualifying exams
+ lots of self-reflective year-end writing
+ feeling pretty good about qualifying exams, feeling a little bit smart, and learning to trust my brain-gut
+ possibly a shoo-in (wait, a shoo-in? a shew-in? a shoe-in?) for this sweet workshop in southern mexico in the summer
+ remembering dreams! all because of not having to spring to my feet and to wakefulness immediately!
23 December 2009 @ 09:55 pm
...dad talking about pregnant man at target, i mean, the show on the "pregnant man" and "her...er...his...sex change implants." which i corrected. but still, damn.

all a few minutes after some barely pubescent girl in super short shorts and thigh high socks cruised me and other group of three guys walking beside my dad and me.

and then cruising hot friends of friends on facebook (yeah, i know) and looking at before/present pictures of their beautiful chests and muscles and facial hair and jaw lines. damn.

and now smashed cream-pie-style in the face with wanting immediate change right this exact second, right now, dammit! and being too scared to take first steps like making a headshrinker appointment in bloomington in january.

i need help.
22 December 2009 @ 10:35 pm
here in nova with family & about 24 hours into family odyssey, hanging in just fine. feeling a little bit crazed with cabin fever, but only a little bit.

tonight, my dad and i drove to pick up mom from the train station and got stuck in the middle of the cul-de-sac just a few feet from driveway. so i pushed and he revved and we finally got out. then we retrieved ma from the station and parked at a nearby shopping center, having decided that driving in the subdivision in the front wheel drive stick shift toyota was less than optimal. so commenced our epic trudge back to the house. took lots of photos and will post them here and probably facebook.

in the meantime, i'm struck by imagining home back in bloomington. not so much wanting to be somewhere else but here, but instead just feeling fondly and something like homesick.

also, cable television leaves quite a bit to be desired.
20 December 2009 @ 07:20 pm
browsing pages and movies and sounds from world of warcraft and larp documentaries to populism primary texts in latin america, other highlights include:

+ image searches for tobey maguire, brittany murphy
+ a brief contemplation of starting a second life character
+ online stalking margot canaday's articles on u.s. queers to decide whether or not they stay on the exams list
+ tepotzlan institute in mexico for summer 2010 (21-28 july) is a near go!
+ academics_anon here on el che
+ brief consideration of various christmas gifts for my teenage sister
+ driving directions from bloomington to d.c.
+ somewhat awkward and fully evasive facebook chats
+ carquest and other nearby mechanics' shops to fix 2004 civic's headlights

also, reading for exams throughout the day, packing for trip, baking, cleaning, talking too much on the phone, thinking of what i should be doing with my time but am not doing...
27 November 2009 @ 02:37 pm
i'm grumpy. my family is bugging me: it's small things, like mostly existing in the same space where i'm trying to exist. things like never-ending chatter, always asking repetitive questions, moving my shit, dumping out my (perfectly delicious, yes i'm still drinking it) coffee, and critiquing the (vegan) food i like to eat.

gawd. leave me alone!

and then there's grading, which is downer anytime.

and the depressing observation that it's probably too cold for a comfortable run in the tiny gym shorts and sleeveless shirt i packed for exercise.

i'm just grumpy, dammit.
08 July 2009 @ 06:53 pm
I've been in Guatemala now for just a few days, but it is as if I never left. On Sunday evening, I happened to run into Alvaro on the street outside my old favorite cafe. I got a bed at the house in Antigua where I lived for a month or so last week. And on Monday I went to work at the Archive. Monday night, I hung around the Outdoor Xcursions house with the other folks living here, taking stupid pictures and talking. There was also some good dance partying.

Tuesday was more of the same archival work and a trip to the grocery for food.

Wednesday, today, was the day when I remembered that I won't be here for as long as I was last year, and so I have to step up the pace of my work. So, I sent a bunch of emails to people about making appointments next week in the city even though I find the city a terribly stressful and isolating place to live. To make sure I make it happen, I've made some dates for meetings and things. It will be okay.

I also went to the market today and got some veg. Here's the cost breakdown:
+ 7 roma tomatoes = 2.50Q = $0.30
+ 3 onions = 3.50Q = $0.45
+ 3 jalpenos = 1Q = $0.13
+ 4 or 5 limes = 5Q = $0.63
+ 5 green apples = 10Q = $1.13

Seriously. I wanted some avocado, but it's not quite time for the harvest yet.

Tomorrow, Thursday, my good friend Chris returns to Antigua. He was my best friend last year and I am more than thrilled to see his silly face once more.
22 June 2009 @ 04:05 pm
Here is what happens sometimes when you Google your exes to see what they're up to:

Maggie's Salsa

Extra Credit: the jacket I'm wearing in this icon photo is one she gave to me the day we met!
13 May 2009 @ 06:01 pm
dear you,

what if i made a mistake? what if all of these past months were just an unfair fuck up on my part? there is so much i miss about what we were doing. things that i never wanted to change. and things which could have changed with a little commitment and maturity on my part.

i found a postcard from you today which reminded me of exactly how unfair i was. and i don't know what happens next. probably nothing. probably everything as it is right now. which is fine. it seems that you are doing something really great, and i think i am, too.

but i had to write something.

27 April 2009 @ 09:37 pm
...yeah, so, i've been pretty much absent from live journal.

life began to take off and i just stopped updating.

here's what i've been up to:
+ roller derby: skating on our "a" travel team and working really hard
+ thinking about food non-stop to accommodate said skating
+ traveling for derby - just played in louisville
+ dating this lady, margie
+ trying to fix dolly (the cat)'s bladder stones without surgery
+ finishing out my last semester of coursework
+ writing my qualifying exams book list
25 March 2009 @ 10:05 pm
i guess i've been on l.j. vacation.

mostly cos i started rollerskating like crazy, we had tryouts for the travel team; and i got into this new relationship, which we all know is all consuming; and the semester started kicking my ass; and graduate conferences; and so on and on and on...

but things are good.

i went to kansas, camping, and grand rapids over spring break. it was good, but too much time spent in the car. kinda wish i'd gone to london instead. but it was good to see megan, the b.f.f. in kansas and to just hang out and pretend that i lived in lawrence for a few days.

three tattoo plans, but no new tattoos, yet.

freehand tiger by mudd on my forearm or leg
best friend hand shaped hearts with megan on calves
three ground cover flowers tribute tattoo for graddaddy john on right ankle
19 January 2009 @ 11:07 pm
...i can actually get some shit done!

now if only i can stop myself from reflexively checking every 10 minutes or so to see if it is up and running once again...

p.s. the next week is going to be insane. i really really need to get better about budgeting my weekend work time.

p.p.s. these days i have a few new and really good friends and i love them. i am blessed.
01 January 2009 @ 12:41 pm
...okay, so i've picked one.

tiger beat, number sweet 16.

and here, darlings, is the sort of aesthetic i hope to conjure...

20 December 2008 @ 04:48 pm
the days are abnormally warm and you can just feel the humidity and tornadoes waiting in the wings. something of a sense of inevitability.

in a few days, i will drive back east to virginia/d.c./maryland. yep. i can't believe how much things have changed since i've been there - i mean when i went in october i wasn't in v.a. too much so it was hardly a trip there.

what will this trip, this sort of pilgrimate, hold?

off to skate laps now, yes, just circles and hopefully with some music in my ears.

caffeine jitters and i've been grading since 10a.m. and so don't care to sound cool or flippant or slangish here.

09 December 2008 @ 05:10 pm
On the twelfth day of Christmas, boiswillbebois sent to me...
Twelve neckties thrifting
Eleven potlucks writing
Ten books a-fisting
Nine apples dancing
Eight tattoos a-piercing
Seven berries a-thinking
Six geeks a-listening
Five alpha-a-a-a femmes
Four yellow chucks
Three building things
Two mind fucks
...and a kink in an androgyny.
Get your own Twelve Days:
30 November 2008 @ 05:07 pm

as the day has worn on, the puffiness has reduced a little and the big beautiful black eye, like glam-rock purple or black eye shadow, has risen to the surface.

i'm sure that my students will love it. so far, peeps are like, "dang dude you look tough as shit!" or "now what does this tell you about the importance of helmets?!!!!"

yes, i know. i will wear a helmet. as soon as i buy one.
29 November 2008 @ 10:51 pm
this is what i did tonight.

ouch!Collapse )
28 November 2008 @ 08:13 pm
thinking is love
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